


Coffee and PDA

by queerstang (rosethomass)



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist, Fullmetal Alchemist (Anime 2003)
Genre: Domestic, Established Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-20
Updated: 2014-06-09
Packaged: 2018-01-25 22:17:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,439
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1664501
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosethomass/pseuds/queerstang
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Roy drops by the apartment after a long time away and Ed shows him just how much he missed him. In the middle of the kitchen. Ed's roommates are completely unfazed.</p><p>Update: Now with some smut!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Happy 520 day, here's some slightly cracky fluff or something idfk. Not too thrilled with how it came out but it's better than nothing i suppose. :3 Don't ask me how this relates to canon because I have no clue. It could be an alter-shamballa where alfons doesn't die and comes to amestris with ed or it could be completely au where everything's the same except alfons is ed and al's cousin that's come to live with them. don't ask me i just wanted to write something with alfons. whatever, enjoy.

As usual, Al was the first awake. His brother snored carelessly away on the bed across the small room, sheets kicked around his legs and hand under the tanktop he slept in, stomach exposed to the air. He’d probably been like that for hours, but Al pulled the covers over him anyways, purely out of habit.

His body seemed to work without need of his brain in the mornings. He didn’t need an alarm to wake him up, didn’t need to take care to tread quietly as he bustled around his routine in the bathroom, and didn’t need to drag himself into the kitchen to start the coffee—his body did that all automatically. It was like one second Al was blinking into the grayish light of the sun filtering through the blinds in his room and the next he was pouring water into the coffee kettle and his mouth tasted like toothpaste and he had no recollection of what had happened in between, but he’d somehow done it.

It wouldn’t take long till the smell of coffee filled the whole apartment, working as a pseudo-alarm for Ed and Alfons, so Al took the few moments of silence the morning gave him, breathing deeply.

It wasn’t totally silent that morning, however. There was a jiggling coming from somewhere behind him and Al turned around groggily, snapping fully awake when he realized the sound was coming from the doorknob.

 _Someone’s trying to break in,_ was Al’s first thought and he instinctually reached into the sink to pull out the large, dirty knife he’d used to cut up the chicken for last night’s dinner. If a stab wound didn’t get the intruder, salmonella would.

The doorknob stopped jiggling, then turned slowly, and Al took in a deep breath to call his brother’s name when the door swung open carefully to reveal—

“Oh,” Al mumbled, cocking his head at the General, who was standing in the entrance, eyes having just found Al standing in the kitchen holding a large knife covered in raw chicken juices.

“Good morning, Al,” he said cheerily, eyeing the knife. Al seemed to snap out of his surprise and laughed at himself a bit, placing the knife back in the sink.

“Sorry, General,” he said. “Forgot Brother gave you a key.” Technically, their lease stated that the only persons allowed to have keys to the apartment were the tenants, and Al was pretty sure Ed had given one to Roy not as a sign of the seriousness of their relationship, but simply because someone had told him he wasn’t allowed to. “Coffee?”

“If it’s not too much of a bother,” the General said, closing and relocking the door behind him. “It’s been a long night.” For just a second, Al realized he was in very thin cotton pajama bottoms and an equally thin sleeping shirt and wasn’t at all appropriate to entertain guests. Then he remembered this was his brother’s boyfriend and that he really didn’t care.

“I do apologize for startling you,” the older man said, coming over to join Al in the kitchen. “I didn’t think anyone was awake yet.”

Al busied himself with the kettle. “We weren’t expecting you back till tonight. Brother’s been getting antsier and antsier. He was so amped up last night that I didn’t think he’d go to sleep. I guess I should thank you for sparing me his hyperactive excitement for the whole day.”

Mustang smiled fondly, leaning against the kitchen counter. “Can’t say I wasn’t equally anxious to see him.”

Al cast an appraising look over the man, taking in his rumpled uniform, his hair that was just a _touch_ too tousled to be classified as the usual ‘artfully’, the slight bags under his eyes, and smiled to himself. “You took an early train. Rode all night. Didn’t even stop by your own house before coming here.”

“None of those statements were phrased as questions,” Roy noted, smirking.

“Because they were observations.” Al poured the coffee into two mugs. “Sugar? Cream?”

“Do you have milk?”

They both glanced to the hallway that led to the bedrooms, as if expecting Edward to burst out of the room complaining loudly.

Al went to the fridge and pulled out a jug of milk. Edward sneered every time he saw it, but he and Alfons needed milk for certain things and Ed just had to _deal._

After handing the milk to Mustang, Al pulled out a box of cereal from one of the cupboards, along with a bowl, and took the milk back once the General was done with it.

“I’ll put some more coffee on. The smell’s almost permeated the whole place, so Ed should be up in a few minutes.”

“Mm,” Mustang said, putting his mug down on the counter, along with the newspaper he’d had tucked under his arm. “Allow me. Sit and enjoy your breakfast.”

“Thanks. Is that ours?” Al pointed at the newspaper.

“Oh, yes. I brought it with me on my way in.” He moved around Al to busy himself with the kettle, refilling it with water and grounds.

Al opened the newspaper, found the comics section, pulled it out, and left the rest of it on the counter for Alfons. He sat down at the living room table with his bowl and coffee mug, opened and folded the comic section for easier handling, and had taken three bites of his cereal when the sound of a bedroom door opening, then closing, followed by low grumbling reached them. The bathroom door opened and closed, water ran, and Al and Mustang shared a little smile before returning to their respective tasks.

Two minutes later, Ed was padding in from the hallway, rubbing his eyes like a child with his left hand, in his tanktop and boxers. He yawned hugely before mumbling, “Coffee?”

“Good morning, brother!” Al said sunnily as Ed cracked his eyes open to turn to him. “The General’s making your coffee.”

Ed frowned, still mostly asleep. “G’nral?”

“Good morning, love,” Mustang said smoothly from the kitchen and Ed’s head snapped up, eyes flashing completely open to turn to the kitchen. “Coffee’s almost ready.”

Ed just stood there, staring dumbly, and Roy smiled innocently as he picked up his coffee again and sipped at it.

“You’re—But…you can’t—“

“I took an early train out,” Roy answered Ed’s stammering. “Couldn’t wait another day to see you.”

Ed stepped into the room, went around the counter that divided the kitchen and the living room, and narrowed his eyes at Roy.

“Put the coffee down,” he said severely, almost like an order, and Roy’s eyes widened just slightly over the mug.

Al glanced at them. “Oh, dear,” he mumbled, turning his attention back to his comics.

Slowly, tentatively, Roy set his mug down on the counter and as soon as the ceramic _clunked_ dully against the wooden top, Ed launched himself at the man, arms flying around his neck and pulling him down for a coffee-and-toothpaste kiss.

“A month!” Ed growled against Roy’s lips, and it was all the General could do to wrap his arms around the boy’s waist, pull him closer, or let Ed drag him down to the floor from how he was hanging his whole weight off him. “You’ve been gone a damn _month,_ you bastard!”

The next kiss was less toothpaste, more teeth.

“I know,” Roy managed to get out through the minimal space between their mouths. “I _know,_ it’s been far too long.” His arms tugged Ed closer, pulled him tighter against him, kissed him deeper and Ed’s toes left the floor entirely, so he just used the counter they were pressed up against to leverage himself and wrap his legs around Roy’s waist.

 _As long as they don’t start moaning,_ Al thought and took another bite of his cereal.

The two were still kissing against the kitchen counter when Alfons came out a few minutes later. He was shirtless, in just his pajama bottoms, stretched his arms over his head and Al heard the slight _pop_ of a joint before Alfons looked to the kitchen and raised an eyebrow.

“I see the General came home early,” he muttered and Al made a little noise, accompanied by a single nod.

“Good morning, Alfons,” Roy said, disengaging his mouth from Ed’s. But Ed just attached it to his neck and Roy made a slight choking noise before reaching up with one to pull Ed’s face away, the other supporting Ed’s weight against him. “Ed, love, don’t you want breakfast?”

There was a moment’s hesitation. “Not really.” He ducked down to reach for Roy’s mouth, but the man had gone stiff and numb underneath him and without his arm supporting his weight, Ed fell, feet making different sounds as they landed on the ground. “What?” he asked up at Roy’s dumbfounded expression. When he tore his eyes away from his boyfriend, he saw his brother and cousin with matching fish-out-of-water looks on their faces. “ _What?_ ”

“You just said no to breakfast,” Al said, gaping.

“You said no to _food_.” Alfons looked like he’d been punched.

“You never turn down food,” Roy supplied and Edward stepped onto his thick uniform boot with his right leg, his left hooking behind his own ankle to lean up and kiss him again.

“You’ve been gone for _a month_ ,” Ed repeated and Roy felt a little weak at the knees at the slightly desperate tone. He was grateful for the kitchen counter behind him. “Can’t think of food when all I wanna eat is _you_.”

There were twin groans of disgust from the living room.

“Not even coffee?” Roy asked.

“Never felt more awake.”

With a roll of his eyes, Alfons stepped into the kitchen as the two resumed their mutual face-eating. He reached around them for the coffee kettle—full, since Ed still hadn’t taken his share of it—then reached over their heads to the cupboard with the coffee mugs, barely avoided knocking Roy’s skull with it as he pulled it down. Not that he would have noticed, judging by how determined he was to reach Ed’s esophagus with his tongue.

Alfons took the newspaper from the countertop, muttered, “Thanks, Roy,” and went to join Al at the table.

Roy didn’t answer, too distracted by the way Ed was undoing the decorated blue jacket of his uniform, reaching under it to shove it off his shoulders. It fell to the wooden countertop with a clatter of stars and medals and when Ed’s fingers went to the buttons of the white shirt he wore underneath, Roy reached up and stopped them.

“Edward,” he said, voice thick and breath coming a little hard, “this is really inappropriate. We’re in your kitchen with your brother and cousin right there and—“

“We don’t really care,” Al said around a mouthful of cereal. Alfons made an agreeing humming sound behind his coffee as he opened the newspaper. “As long as the pants stay on, we don’t mind.”

“We’re used to it by now,” Alfons added after swallowing his gulp of coffee.

Roy had enough decency in him to blush a little at that, while Edward had nothing resembling decency and was instead grinning triumphantly up at him.

“Your roommates being so accustomed to our physical affections is _not_ something to be proud about, Ed,” Roy chastised, but Ed just beamed brighter.

“Fine, then, if it bugs you so much,” Ed grumbled after Roy just stared meaningfully at him for minute, “let’s just take it to the bedr—” He froze, eyes a little wide, then his face crumpled. “I have to _work_ today…”

“Al and I can handle things in the lab for a day without you, Ed,” Alfons said, turning the page of his newspaper.

“We promise not to have any breakthroughs without you,” Al smiled.

Ed looked at the pair over Roy’s shoulder. “You sure?” First, he turned down food in favor of kissing Roy, and now he was turning down _science_ in favor of spending the day with him. Ed often complained about Roy’s huge ego, but when Ed did things like that, how could he not have one?

“You’d be useless today anyways.”

“Just be bustling about, thinking about Roy and tripping over things.”

“I do _not—_!”

“Yes you do,” both boys said simultaneously, Ed seethed, and Roy felt his ego squirm happily.

“Whatever,” Ed grumbled and finally stepped down from Roy’s foot to tug at him by his shirt collar. “Let’s just get to the bedroom before I kill ‘em both and have to pay the rent by myself.”

“Brother, _wait!_ ” Al called and Ed groaned, pausing again. Roy chuckled and picked up his coffee; there was still a little left, might as well not let it go to waste. “You can’t go to the bedroom just yet!”

“Why _not?_ ”

“It’s my bedroom too! And I need to get dressed and ready for work!”

Ed knocked his face against Roy’s shoulder in frustration, and Roy just laughed a little more as he took another sip.

“Well how long is that gonna take?”

Al looked down at his still half-full bowl of cereal, did some quick calculations. “Fifteen minutes?”

Ed whined loudly and Roy snorted.

“Ten minutes?” Al tried again.

“ _Hurry up!_ Or I’m taking his pants off right here, right now!”

“All _right!_ ” Rolling his eyes, Al stuffed a particularly large spoonful of cereal in his mouth.

“Might as well eat something while you wait,” Alfons suggested. “Knowing you two, you won’t be coming out of that bedroom for a good long while.”

“Alfons has a point.” Roy cocked his hip against the counter, sipped at his coffee, tugged lightly at the end of Ed’s hair, loose since he hadn’t put it up after waking. Ed turned a raised eyebrow at him and Roy leaned in close, put his lips to Ed’s ear and whispered, “You’re going to need your energy for all the things I plan to do to you.”

Face suddenly bright red, Ed squeaked out, “I’ll make some toast!” and bolted away.

“I’ll serve you your coffee, then.” The kettle had cooled since Alfons had served himself his share, so Roy popped on his glove and with a snap, it was steaming again. Just as he was pouring the coffee, Al appeared over the counter and thrust the empty bowl in his face, the boy’s cheeks full and a drop of milk on his bottom lip. Roy looked at the bowl bemusedly for a second before he realized, and as soon as he took it, Al bolted for the bedroom, slamming the door behind him. Roy deposited the bowl in the sink before turning back to the coffee, pouring liberal amounts of sugar into it.

Ed was just finishing his fourth slice of toast, Roy licking the crumbs off the corners of his mouth, when Al came back out of the room, fully dressed.

“Done!” he announced. “The room’s all yours.”

Giddily, Ed dragged Roy by his shirt and Roy stumbled along after him, calling out, “Have a nice day at work, boys!” as they disappeared into the bedroom, the door almost closing on the tails of his uniform skirt.

“You!” Al pointed a finger at Alfons, who raised both eyebrows in question. “Hurry up, I don’t want to be within five miles of this apartment once those two get started.”

“But I haven’t even had breakfast yet.”

“You can get a muffin on the way, _let’s go!_ ”

In the bedroom, Ed had pushed Roy onto his bed and was proceeding to climb onto his lap, Roy smiling as their lips met, hands coming up to tangle in Ed’s already-messy hair. Ed shoved at his shoulders, pressed him into the mattress and ducked down to nuzzle his face against Roy’s neck.

“I missed you,” he muttered, pressing a kiss to Roy’s throat. “Fuckin’ bastard, missed you.” He peppered kisses over Roy’s throat and collarbone, Roy smirking up at the ceiling as he leaned his head back. “Missed you, missed you—asshole—missed you…”

With gentle hands, Roy gripped Ed’s face and pulled him up to kiss his nose, his cheekbones, his lips. “I missed you too, love.”

Smiling softly, Ed touched his forehead to Roy’s, then ground his hips down, smile turning wicked at Roy’s little gasp. He did it again and Roy groaned, hands flying down to Ed’s hips to tug him closer, press their growing erections together through their clothes. Ed bit his bottom lip as he watched Roy’s face, rocking his hips just slightly, back and forth, pressing down, just to feel that friction, and Roy canted his hips upward slightly to give him a better angle. Ed laughed a little, buried his face in Roy’s shoulder and ground down on him, Roy’s hands sliding down to grip his ass.

“Been too long,” Ed murmured and Roy swallowed thickly at a particularly harsh grind of their groins. “ _So_ long... _Roy…_ ”

Roy nudged Ed’s face with his own—hands too happy where they were groping the younger man’s ass to be bothered to move—until Ed looked up at him and Roy could kiss him, tug at his lip between his teeth and Ed let out a little moan, pushing his hips down again, making Roy answer with a moan of his own.

There was a loud succession of rapid knocking and they both looked up, but it didn’t seem to be at the door to the bedroom. It was at the door across the hall.

“Al _fooons!_ ” Another sharp bursts of knocks. “Hurry up! I can hear them already!”

Roy’s laugh was muffled by Ed’s tongue in his mouth.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ed and Roy spend the whole day in bed, the fuckers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this took me a lot longer than i expected for some reason and isn't as good as i had hoped, but i still sort of like it. plus, we get to bump up the rating here to an M which is always nice.
> 
> enjoy :3

“How was the inspection?” Ed asked, and Roy wasn’t sure if he heard the question with his ears or if the vibrations of Ed’s voice travelled through his bones via the wrist he was currently kissing and straight to his brain.

“Do you really care?” Roy asked, laughing, extending his fingers as Ed’s lips moved up to his palm, brushed the tips against the boy’s cheekbones.

“Not really.” Ed playfully nipped the knuckle of Roy’s thumb with his teeth. “Just makin’ small talk till you’re ready to go again.”

“It was extremely boring.” He leaned his head back against the headboard, the hand that Edward wasn’t currently exploring with his mouth tracing over the edge of the automail on his leg. “I’d much rather hear what you’ve been up to this month.”

“I went to bars almost every night while you were gone,” was muttered into his palm.

“Did you now?”

“Oh yeah.” A stripe licked up to the tip of his middle finger. “Picked up different people every night.”

“Every night?”

“Every single night.” Kisses on each fingertip. “Sometimes picked up more than one to bring back here.”

“How exciting.”

“Oh yeah. I think at one point, I had like five people in here.” A grin shot through the gaps between his fingers.

“In this very room?”

“Yup. Right in this room. I had _so_ much sex with strangers.” Forefinger sucked into a warm mouth, tongue laved over it, and Roy swallowed thickly. “You jealous?”

“Oh, terribly.”

With a grin, Ed laced their fingers together and leaned down to kiss Roy on the mouth. “I mostly worked in the labs all month. Had nothin’ better to do.” A kiss and a pause. “Winry came by for a week or so. Slept in Alfons’ room. Alfons was complaining about his back being fucked up from sleeping on the couch for days afterwards. Interesting enough for you?”

Roy’s free hand came up to tangle in Ed’s hair at the back of his neck. “I was actually quite intrigued by the other story. I wanted to hear more about your orgies with complete strangers.” Ed snorted, kissed him again. “How is Miss Rockbell, then?”

“Just fine. Makin’ a killing in Rush Valley if all her fancy new clothes are anything to go by.”

“That’s good to hear. Why did she sleep in Alfons’ room?”

“He and Al got into an argument over who would be the gentleman. I suggested she just switch rooms every night if it was such a big deal to them. They looked at me like I was an uncivilized caveman and then rock-paper-scissored for it and Alfons won. If you consider giving up your bed and sleeping on the couch ‘winning’.”

“Why didn’t you offer your bed?”

Ed glared. “She said she didn’t mind taking the couch, so I didn’t need to give up my bed. Not my problem those two idiots had to make a big deal about it. Besides.” He bumped his nose against Roy’s. “Sheets still smelled like you a bit. Didn’t wanna give that up. Are you ready yet?”

Roy took in the sight of Ed, gloriously naked and sitting on his abdomen, leaning down towards him with a cascade of golden locks falling over his shoulder, lovebites forming on his throat and chest from earlier, half-hard dick resting against Roy’s stomach. He inhaled the smell of Ed’s hair and Ed’s sweat and Ed’s shampoo—vanilla, which was actually _Al’_ s shampoo which meant that Ed had run out of his own cinnamon shampoo again.

“Mmmm…almost.” He nudged Ed’s nose with his own. “If you continue what you were doing earlier, it might definitely speed up the process.”

Ed pulled back, grinning. “What? This?” He unlaced their fingers and took Roy’s hand in both of his again, pulling the fore and middle fingers into his mouth and sucking on them gently, laving his tongue around and between them.

“Yes,” Roy whispered, transfixed. “ _That_.”

“You have fucking sexy hands,” Ed muttered, letting the fingers he had been sucking rest against his bottom lip. “Fucking love your hands…” He pulled in the ring finger along with the other two this time and Roy groaned.

It only took a little over a minute and… “Ed. Love, I’m ready.”

Grinning wolfishly, Ed let go of Roy’s hand and lifted his hips, aligned himself, and lowered himself down on Roy’s dick, his stretched out hole opening easily around him.

***

Tangled golden silk slipped and caught between Roy’s fingers and he rubbed a lock between his thumb and index before holding it up to his face and breathing in deeply.

“Hey, weirdo,” Ed’s voice came from Roy’s chest slightly annoyed. “Are you sniffing my hair, you freak?”

“This coming from the man who had been licking my fingers like they were a delectable treat not less than an hour ago.” He inhaled deeply again and didn’t need to glance down to know that Ed’s cheeks had gone pink, but he did anyway.

“Whatever, you’re still a freak with a hair kink.”

“I don’t hear you complaining about my hair kink when I’m pulling on it in the middle of fucking.”

He didn’t need to glance down to know that Ed’s cheeks were now tomato red, but, again, he did anyway. If he really felt devious, he could make them go downright crimson by reminding Ed that he actually asked to have it pulled on harder, but he refrained for now.

Ed punched lightly Roy in the knee—which was the closest part of him his fist could reach with the least amount of effort. “Hair-pulling during sex is _totally_ different to hair-sniffing after it. One of them is totally not creepy, the other is. I’ll let you guess which is which.”

Roy was about to retort when the sound of a door opening and closing outside reached them.

“Are they home already?” Ed asked, frowning. “No way it’s 4 pm already.” He looked over at the clock on his nightstand. A little past noon. So, why were they—?

There was a knock at the bedroom door and Edward actually jumped a little, jarring Roy who he was resting against.

“What the hell?” The sound of rushing footsteps faded away, followed by the opening and closing of the front door again, and Ed grumbled to himself. He disentangled himself from Roy’s embrace, got on his feet, picking up Roy’s white button-up shirt from the ground and shoved it on, then yanked the sheets over Roy’s naked lower half. “Just in case,” he explained, then tugged the halves of the shirt together with one hand and padded to the front door, opening it a crack and poking his head out. “Al? Alfons? Hell—oh! Awesome!”

Roy cocked an eyebrow as Ed crouched down, picked up something from the ground and then stood up and turned back around, kicking the door closed behind him. In his arms, he held two paper bags and four bottles of water.

On the paper bags was the logo of a deli Roy recognized as Ed’s favorite. Ed sat down on the bed again threw his legs over Roy’s, and handed him one of the bags and two of the bottles.

“How thoughtful of them,” Roy smiled as he pulled out the wrapped sandwich from his bag. “Why _four_ bottles, though?”

Ed pulled out a note from inside his own bag. “’Stay hydrated! Love, Al’,” he read.

“Ah.”

***

Ed gasped sharply into Roy’s shoulder, hot breath leaving the skin damp.

“Sensitive, love?” Roy smirked, pressing a kiss to Ed’s forehead. “I wouldn’t be surprised, considering how many times I’ve fucked you today.”

With a little hiss, Ed curled his body closer to Roy’s side, fingers twitching where they rested in a fist on Roy’s chest. “Which I just realized is totally unfair,” he managed to grind out, hips jerking against the two fingers Roy was moving inside him. “We should have switched at least once.”

“Yes, I guess you’re right.” Roy curled his fingers and Ed whined, rubbing himself off of Roy’s thigh. “Would you like to do that next?”

“Are you fucking kidding me? How many times have we both come already?”

Roy’s fingers paused as he thought and Ed let out a little threatening growl, so Roy hastily resumed his ministrations while trying to recall. “Four each, I think…this next one will be your fifth.”

“ _Shit_ …seriously?”

“We have been at it all day.” Roy scissored his fingers and Ed let out a soft cry. “I do see your point, then. I really don’t think I have another one in me. It’s impressive I’ve gotten this much in my old age.”

Ed wriggled a bit, trying to lean up to reach Roy’s face without dislodging the fingers inside him. “You’re not _that_ old, bastard.” He kissed Roy’s jaw and murmured, “Little harder…c’mon…”

Roy’s wrist was starting to cramp but he was a slave to Ed’s every wish, jerking his hand faster and Ed panted against the side of his throat. “I’m old enough that what I’ve achieved today should’ve been almost impossible, but what can I say? You bring the out the teenager in me.”

“And I have a pretty good history of doing— _ah_ —impossible things.” Roy had his fingers knuckle deep inside a miracle incarnate. He leaned in and pressed his mouth to Ed’s, coaxing a hot tongue out and it felt like he was tasting the sun.

Roy leaned over Ed, touched their foreheads together, and said, “After this, we’ll rest for a bit. Take a nice, long nap in each other’s arms. Then we’ll shower—preferably together. You are absolutely stunning when you’re soaking wet.” Ed whined, gripped both of Roy’s shoulders tightly and rocked his hips against Roy’s fingers. Roy’s thigh slipped between his legs so Ed could rub himself off it better. “After that, I’m going to take you out to dinner. Fill you up with all manner of energizing foods. And dessert, of course. Then we’ll go back to my place, with my lack of roommates and my king-sized bed…and you can fuck me to your heart’s desire, all night long.”

Ed came with a shout to the ceiling, pale throat stretched out and exposed, spurting over Roy’s thigh. Roy’s spent, exhausted dick gave a half-hearted twitch because no matter how tired it was, there was nothing more erotic than the sight and sound and _feel_ of Edward Elric coming against him.

***

Al and Alfons arrived halfway through their nap. Ed was dead to the world, but Roy was enough of a light sleeper to crack an eye open when the bedroom door opened quietly, a wary head peeked through, followed by the rest of Al’s body as he deposited his shoes and coat on the bed, then walked back out and closed the door behind himself just as quietly. Roy closed his eye and fell back asleep, cheek pressed to the top of Ed’s head.

When they awoke (read: Roy was awoken by Ed’s stomach’s loud growling and he gently shook Ed awake when it wouldn’t let him fall back asleep), they got dressed (Ed had claimed Roy’s button-up white shirt as his own so Roy was left with his undershirt and uniform pants) and went outside.

“Ah, the lovebirds emerge from their nest!” Alfons cried. “Is this the first time you two have stepped out of that bedroom all day?”

“No, dumbass,” Ed grumbled, rubbing his eye with a fist and fiddling with a button of Roy’s shirt—he’d buttoned it up unevenly and he was so heartbreakingly cute that Roy melted a little bit looking at him. “We had to use the bathroom and stuff. And we got snacks at some point.”

“Speaking of food,” Al chimed in. “We brought take-out dinner for four.”

Ed and Roy exchanged an awkward look.

“I actually invited Edward out to dinner tonight,” Roy said apologetically.

“Oh good,” Alfons said cheerily. “More for Al and me.”

Ed narrowed his eyes at Alfons like he wasn’t sure whether to be insulted that he was so happy about them rejecting their offer of joining them for dinner or to be proud of his Elric-worthy gluttony.

“Let’s clean up, Roy,” he said instead, turning to the bathroom. “Gotta leave early since we gotta stop by your place to get changed first.”

Roy followed Edward into the bathroom like a dog on a leash, ironically enough.

While Ed got dressed, Roy enjoyed a cup of coffee with Al. He had no option but to put on his wrinkled and frumpy uniform again, but he’d be out of it and into nicer date clothes as soon as Edward came back out.

The phone rang and Al got out of his seat to answer it. “Elric-Heidrich residence.” Pause. “Oh, hello Miss Hawkeye.”

Roy choked on his coffee.

“Yes, he’s here.” Al’s eyes darted to Roy, frowning when he noticed the horrified expression on his face. “Would you like to speak to him?”

Roy shook his head desperately and Al’s frown deepened.

“Oh, well, all right, sure.” There was a longer pause as Al listened to whatever Hawkeye was saying, and his frown transitioned into an expression of mild surprise and then wicked amusement. “Okay, I’ll tell him you said that. Have a nice night, Lieutenant Colonel.” He hung up and turned a dangerous smirk to Roy, who felt himself sinking back into his seat as if hoping it would swallow him up.

“Would you like to hear the Lieutenant Colonel’s message, General?”

“Not really, no.”

“Too bad. She said, ‘If you ever leave me stranded to deal with a bunch of incompetent morons and pretentious assholes again, I will shoot you in the ass, sir.’”

“Is that paraphrased?”

“Verbatim, actually.”

Roy cleared his throat, raised his mug to his mouth with a shaking hand, took a sip and lowered it again. “Thank you for delivering the message, Alphonse.”

“Of course.” Al sat down and picked up his mug again. “She just got back a little while ago. Around the same time _you_ were supposed to, but you just ‘took an early train’, right?” Roy didn’t meet his eye. “You _ran away_ from Hawkeye before finishing the inspection, didn’t you? Just to come home a day early.”

Roy opened his mouth to try to find some excuse, but just then Edward came out of his bedroom in a black dress shirt and boxers, holding up two pairs of pants. “I can’t decide between the black and the brown. I mean, I prefer the black, but they’ve got this weird chemical stain on the back that I can’t really identify, but I was thinking that if you kept your hand on my ass while we walked, no one would notice.”

Roy stared. Al stared. Al said, “Brown,” and Ed nodded and disappeared back into the bedroom.

Roy turned back to Al and asked, “Can you really blame me?”


End file.
